So I am going cali sober as a stress response to messing up my health and wallet with drugs. But also I was in denial that I could handle working graveyard shifts, so I seek a new job after collapsing at work and being toted away in a motherfucking ambulance … i was working graveyard for a year straight almost ….

A million thoughts race through my head and the stress was making me act like i was almost having seizures of some kind … i need to do my taxes .. the gas bill last month slaughtered me … can i even afford to live in this city? I need to run home to upstate new york and live in my girlfriends basement …no, i need a day job here and a cheaper apartment … no they will all be the size of closets … so i have come to the conclusion that i have a million propositions for myself and the world and people around me and all i really know is i need to stay healthy, keep working, and somehow, do my fucking taxes ….

weirdly the best decision i made was buying this 30 case of beer and just fucking relaxing… so now i can keep my thoughts straight and try to unfuck myself ….